"Ah, yes, Dianne
is stubborn, strong-willed, hard-headed and set in her ways!"
This was our doctor speaking, --teasing Dianne, our daughter.
However, Tom and I agreed these traits are easily true of all
three of us living at the Berry household. With this in mind
I began to wonder how we managed to live together in love and
harmony as we do. Several words seem to come to the
Each of us respects the rights of the other to be different.
For example; Dianne is a true night owl. She functions
at peak performance at one of two a.m. Tom used to wake the
rooster! He is extremely organized with perfectionist
tendencies while I work at attaining those characteristics
constantly, Dianne has yet to find the words in the dictionary.
Tom never complains about me or Dianne, and she and I both admire
that quirk in his personality that even organizes his shows,
shirts, socks, and underwear.
right of the other to have different preferences is paramount,
whether food or TV. programs. Tom and Dianne share a love of
dogs and football. I like romance, mysteries, and cats.
We solved the football problem with multiple TV's and strive for
tolerance for the preferences of others.
We have a respect
for personal belongings and privacy. It has been a
long-standing rule at our house that bedrooms are private.
You don't go in or take anything out unless invited to do so.
If your belongings are out in the family area, then they are free
for the using. Otherwise...!
At some undefined point Tom and I realized that our children were
adults and that our parent role was different. Advice was no
longer "This is your mother speaking..." All advice
must now be requested, (a transition I still find difficult) and
offered as friend to friend. It is it not accepted, then so
The question I find
I must ask myself is this: Has my loving and caring earned
me the right to interfere with or offer unsolicited advice?
Only when there is security and confidence in love and concern for
the other's happiness will advice be sought and accepted.
This is not an easy position, but a most necessary one.
One thing that is prevalent is our home is support for one
another, ---like "The Three Musketeers" or the motto: "One for all
and all for one." Sometimes it takes times of trouble
for this to become evident, but in reality, it is there all the
itself by helping one another during times of stress. I've
seen Tom do laundry, dishes, vacuum the floor or clean the
bathrooms, when I have been stressed out. Dianne is quick to
pick up the load when there is a need.
Support is shown by
positive affirmation of the abilities of each other. Rarely
is any kind of negative complain heard in our home.
Criticism of one another is so rare as to be almost non-existent.
Criticism from someone outside the family gets really nasty.
You may have heard the cliche` "you may kick me, but you'd better
not kick my don?" Well, that's true in the Berry family.
We love one another. It is the "show-and-tell-love" that is
expressed in the acts we do and the words we say. Believe
me, they match.
hard-headed, set-in-their-ways Christians can live in love and
harmony if they practice Bible principles. We know.
Copyright © 2008 Truth Helpers Inc.